The Amazing Alberta Time Travel Adventures of Wild Roping Roxy and Family Day Ray by Rob Lennard

Author:Rob Lennard
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: history;Alberta;Calgary Stampede
Publisher: H.T. Murgatroyd Publishing
Published: 2015-06-11T17:36:46+00:00

Checking out the wedding ceremony program.

The groom to be, Warrant Officer Ron Nixon, said, “It’s okay, everybody. I want to introduce you to my favourite uncle, Big John, the Great Rattlesnake Hunter from Lethbridge.” Big John pulled out his rattlesnake-skin whip and silenced his pet snakes with one loud snap.

“Good afternoon, everybody,” Big John said. “I just finished performing at a country fair in Ponoka and was delighted that I could attend my nephew’s wedding on this here southbound train en route to my next show in Calgary. Let the ceremony begin!”

Everybody took their seat and Roxy started singing “Amazing Grace.” While she sang, the beautiful bride and her bridesmaids came down the aisle. Minister Lloyd of Lloydminster, who was not at all sinister, conducted the beautiful service, as the twins, the rattlesnakes, and Jasper sat very still. What followed the vows was Roxy’s favourite part of the service: the minister said, “I now pronounce you husband and wife. Warrant Officer Nixon, you may now kiss your beautiful bride.” But just as the bride closed her eyes and puckered up for a big kiss, three 2000-pound buffalo wandered onto the train tracks.

The train conductor had to slam on the brakes, which sent everybody in the bridal party flying. Unfortunately, the bride still had her eyes closed and lips puckered when she landed on the floor next to Jasper. The friendly dog couldn’t resist and gave her a big lick on the mouth. The bride’s eyes opened and she screamed out in horror, “Yuck! You’re not my husband!” The entire first-class railcar burst out laughing and even Genevieve couldn’t help but chuckle when she realized what had happened.

In all of the commotion, no one noticed that the cage that held the four rattlesnakes also went flying. It crashed into the back wall and broke wide open. The snakes were loose! When Big John saw the empty cage, he yelled for everybody to remain calm. This was easier said than done, as most wedding guests had already jumped onto their chairs and tables and were cursing Big John for bringing the snakes onto the train in the first place.

But Big John knew exactly what to do. He reached down into his big, black bag, pulled out his trumpet, and started playing the snakes’ favourite song, “When the Snakes Go Slithering In.” Within a few seconds, the crowd heard the rattlesnakes keeping beat while Big John played his horn. The snakes reappeared from underneath the curtains and slithered in rhythm back into the cage, to a collective sigh of relief. Big John fixed the broken door, and life in the first-class railcar returned to normal. The bride and groom were finally able to have their first kiss.

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